Thursday, April 22, 2010

Tenets of the Blah Blah Blah Party

1. Our Platform: political platforms are quite useless.
People use positions on "salient issues" to determine who they will vote for. These positions rarely make any difference at all in terms of how things actually turn out.

2. Party loyalty is absurd.

3. Patriotism is the plural form of patting yourself on the back.

4. Voting is really a waste of your time. The choice between showboat A and showboat B is non-substantive.

5. Every tenet of every political party, including this one, is false.

6. Our Agenda: We have no agenda.
Agendas do nothing but generate criticism. You either did enough, or you didn't do enough. You're either too ambitious or not ambitious enough. Whatever you do, it won't be what you planned, the way you planned it. As long as you had a plan, you failed to achieve it.